Or should I say, "i-glad?"

It all started when the banks failed. They gave out loans people couldn't pay back and everything went up shit's creek once again.

For a moment the future seemed glorious. All across America everyone was flossin'. A house with a 57 in. plasma flat screen TV and an escalade in every driveway. We ate surf and turf for lunch and farm raised salmon for dinner; no vegetables please!

Then reality set in when that first installment bill arrived in the mail; everyone couldn't be P Diddy after all. Now the banks wouldn't get all their money back. How could these successful financial institutions with decades of experience and some of the brightest individuals in the country be so sloppy? Were they high? Maybe, but that's neither here nor there. We were starving for the truth and it finally appeared.

The truth was, they didn't fail at all! It was a miscalculation. The banks never failed because they're just too big! They were too big to fail. It all started to make sense. Everyone knows it is impossible for big things to fail. By taking a glimpse at history you might say, "But Bob, big things fail all the time. Like dinosaurs, Goliath, and the twin towers." Take a longer look, I challenge you.

Dinosaurs, Goliath, and the twin towers might seem huge at first glance but this is not the case. Morgan Stanley was at least the size of 237 Tyrannosaurus Rexes and 52 Brontosauruses put together. And did you know you'd have to vertically stack 115 building ones of the World Trade Center to reach the size of one Citi Bank? That would be at least 15,987 Goliaths piled on top of one another.

So where did we go from here? Well, high unemployment, inflation, bankruptcy, and record profits for financial institutions to name a few. Not to mention high returns for big investors in the stock market like hedge funds. The poor stayed poor and the middle class got knocked down a few pegs. But at least the rich were OK...at least for a while.

Then this guy Bernie Madoff arrived on the scene. The only problem was he'd been on the scene taking rich peoples money for a few decades. The jig was up and rich people were pissed. Madoff was thrown in jail. The moral of that story was, you can't steal money from rich people.

When the smoke cleared the morale of the populous was at an all time low. We looked to our dewy and refreshing leader, Barrack Obama for guidance. unfortunately, he kicked us when were down. He finally passed his health care bill.

At the moment our lives are not only shitty, but the government wants us to live our miserable lives longer! I'm sure the bill is great for people who don't want to die, but what percentage of people is that really?!

When bad things happen to us there's an expression people say. It goes, "At least you have your health!" Tell that to someone that who lost 5 million dollars to Bernie Madoff. They'd probably rather have their investment back or jump out a fucking window.

It seemed like there was no hope. The banks stopped lending money and the government only cared about making people healthy. Who could we turn to? I'll tell you who, apple.

They call it it the i-pad, or should I say, "i-glad?". Thank God we now have this unnecessary cutting- edge piece of technology to distract us!

Unfortunately it's $499 and most of us can't afford it. But at least we can fantasize about sitting on the train watching reruns of Scrubs or the latest episode of Lost on a 9.7 inch high resolution screen. The i-pad is not only ideal for storing and playing media it's also ideal for surfing the web. You can open multiple windows on one screen so you can easily view multiple texts of useless information all at the same time. There is also a plethora of i-pad specific applications in existence that you don't need but will immediately find crucial at the instance of their discovery.

One of my favorite applications is the satellite map that can pin point your exact location on earth in case you have no idea of your whereabouts.

You can't joke about Parmigiano Reggiano, so let's talk about pirates.

Parmigiano-Reggiano has been documented to have been in existence as early as the 13th century. This is no laughing matter. And with that said, I find myself in somewhat of a dilemma. Bobbowabo is, "all things Bobbo", and there is nothing more quasi-Bobbo than Parmigiano-Reggiano. However, this subject matter does not adapt to the schema of irony, satire and humor that makes the blog diverting.

There is nothing remotely laughable about this cheese. I use the term "cheese" for lack of a better word. It is quite possibly the greatest dairy product produced on the face of the earth and it has been practically unchanged for over 700 years.

Have you ever tried it? Have you ever experienced its delicacy or its nutty and slightly salient complexity? Were you aware that the swine raised to become prosciutto di Parma humbly nosh on the spare whey from the course of production of Parmigiano-Reggiano? And, did you know the consumption of this whey enhance their own flavor? Is it a coincidence that 2 of the most outstanding ingredients in gastronomy are interdependent on the same process? Probably not. And, is it fate that both these culinary operas derive from the same place on earth? Well, I am not completely confident fate exists, but it is fortuitous.

Still, there is a loop-hole. Look in your refrigerator. You might have an impostor, worthy of mocking. It is called parmesan (notice I did not capitalize it). Parmesan I learned, is a borrowed word from French that means Parmigiano. Parmigiano in Italian indicates something from Parma. In America, parmesan has become the generic term for cheeses that mimic the flavor of Parmigiano-Reggiano. These imitations are garbage. Sorry Kraft, nice try! We can make fun of them all we want. In the future, I might go on a blogging tirade about parmesan cheese, but we have more important issues at hand.

You can't joke about Parmigiano-Reggiano, so let's talk about pirates. More precisely, the Somalian kind. Apparently, pirates are the Jonas Brothers of Somalia. They have stolen oil, rations, American ship captains as well as the hearts of impoverished young Africans.
Conflictingly, Americans and much of the industrialized nations are not amused, especially those who have business interests in the region.

According to our local media, these pirates are not the glamorized characters of Treasure Island we read about as youths.



Instead, they are monstrous sea-gangsters threatening our interests. Let's examine the attire we see in the picture below.



The style, or lack there of, is not even suggestive of heroic or romantic. The outfit is thrown together and cheap. One time I saw a picture in the paper of a Somali pirate wearing a Van Halen T-shirt. It never even crossed my mind that he knew who Van Halen was. He probably stole it off a real Van Halen fan. These pirates need to get their act together fashion wise, if they intend on winning us over!

Imagine what our pirates would look like. If Somalia had a lucrative petroleum business in the Gulf of Mexico, do you think Texas pirates would be taking Somalian ships hostage with flannel tied around their heads? Of course not! Perhaps Seattle pirates would.



Fortunately, they are not drinking our milkshake, we are drinking theirs! The more important question then, is to how we can continue to steal natural resources and send mixed signals to Africa by way of economic aid with out provoking future aquatic atrocities?

Current Events and Dinosaurs

Current Events, more specifically in the area of Business, coming from the Front Page of the NY Times March 03, 2009.

Title:U.S. Likely to Keep the Reins on Fannie and Freddie

As you might have noticed, there has been an increase in the amount of smelly homeless people on the subways. If you have never seen a fat putrid man jerk off in public, this might be your year! This is because the economy sucks right now, you might even get robbed too, or shanked...or both as they commonly occurs in pairs. You also might be aware that you, or 1 out of every 3 people you know is laid-off. We are in a huge social dilemma, partly thanks to Fannie and Freddie.
But who is this couple that causes destruction,hates little girls, puppies, and babies, and probably eats them? I went to Google images to commence my search...


When I saw this image, the financial crisis made sense. Fannie and Freddie were these monsters that relied on mortgages for food. After eating so many mortgages, they had to be captured and put under strict supervision. But why preserve them you ask? Why not destroy Fannie and Freddie? The answer is simple. When nuclear weapons are not an option and King Kong, or even, God forbid, Mothra come to town, who will defend us? We can't live with or without Fannie and Freddie.

Currently, these two giant beasts are being closely monitored by the government. They have lost their independent spirit for the time being because they cannot be trusted. If they are not regulated, they will continue to eat mortgages and babies. President Obama believes that we have to regulate these big financial institutions to prevent future economic fall-outs.

If only we listened to 90's Hip Hop dynamo, Warren G; He's been preaching regulation for years.




The Fannie and Freddie debacle brings us to the age old question, can humans and dinosaurs coexist. To many of our conservative and religious observers this question might be irrelevant, but this image suggests otherwise (see picture below).

Or, perhaps Jesus was a dinosaur.


Either way, science has proven without a doubt, that dinosaurs have existed at some time. Whether they exist with humans, or God was in fact a dinosaur himself, remains to be proven. What we do know however, is that if in fact there were such creatures as dinosaurs, we owe them for the surplus of fossil fuels that has shaped our current society.
Until next time...

INTRODUCTION

This is Bobbowabo the Blog, you made it!

It's everything Bobbo, but not in a self-righteous or narcissistic way; if it's all about Bobbo it's all about you as well.

To clarify, pressing issues of the day will be addressed. Issues that affect us all and these issues will be presented, and left for your own interpretation, this is not an editorial and Bobbo really does not have passionate opinions about anything. Bobbo is only one man.

But why is Bobbo in the title then, one might ask? Why do we care about this mysterious individual and more importantly, why does he have a blog in the first place? And why did he chose courier as his blog font?

Well, I can answer this. First, I'll confirm the latter; courier font. Simply, according to Bobbo, courier font is the most urgent and most professional font next to New Times Roman. Additionally, being a nostalgic type of guy, I enjoy the antiquated print that brings me back to a simpler time pre-PC when type-writers were the i-touches of their day.

Secondly, Bobbo has a blog because he is a member of team earth and like everyone else, he sees the world in his own way. What goes on in Bobbo's head? you might ask. This is a guided tour. When Bobbo leaves the house, or does not, what does he see? This blog is the perspective of Bob. What are the urgent issues and questions Bob tackles everyday? i.e. dinosaurs? Jamba Juice? weed? TV? work? play? politics? Everything that catches his eye. And, cliche alert, "nothing is taboo".

The last component to Bobbowabo is Tequila, more specifically Cabowabo. It's a popular industry beverage found in all the top restaurants, it's trendy and delicious, who does not like tequila... ever? There are always multiple points in everyones life when tequila is the shit, for example: after nailing that new job in HR, nailing your hot boss in HR, after the funeral of your hot boss in HR, after having a baby, after finding out your going to have a baby and for enjoying Saturday night at your favorite watering hole.

Also, like Cabowabo, you might step into Bobbo's world and start violently throwing up from the awesomeness so hence the blog has been nominated Bobbowabo. I hope that makes sense, if it does not, it soon will. Enjoy!